Well, today I decided I should probably journal my days. It will make a great point of reference for my future book. On my vision board is a New York Times Best Sellers List Which has the name of the number one book white-ed out. In its place I wrote my book and name. It says #1: A Girl Called Me-How I Used The Law of Attraction to Create My Dream Life. That’s exactly what I am doing. I’m conjuring up my dream life.
I have no expectations of how it is to come, but I know one thing. It’s already done. I have decided to open myself up to whatever way the Universe chooses to bring these things into being for me. I also promised to look for opportunities and signs and messages from the Universe so I know what action I need to take. I promise to acknowledge my inner voice, or intuition, so it can guide me. I promise to make decisions based in love, not fear. Most importantly, I promise to not feel ashamed or guilty if I screw up along the way. There are infinite ways for everything on that vision board to come to fruition. If you miss one opportunity another will come along. Besides, aren’t you lowering your vibration by being hard on yourself? We have to remember our feelings are magnetic. Our thoughts are electric. The combination of the two makes up your electromagnetic field, in other words, your aura. This is how you attract people, situations, and opportunities that help you create your own reality.
Our beliefs are key as well. If you hold the belief that something is impossible, then you have already cut yourself off from it. You are right. It IS impossible for you. If you lean one tiny bit into even the remote possibility that it IS POSSIBLE, you’ll start to see with your new eyes, ways that it might just be possible! Lean further into infinite possibilities and a whole new world appears! Then you might as well take it one step further by deciding that believing something impossible is lackful thinking. It’s an insult to the Universe because you’re saying that the Universe is incapable of making something happen. That’s just ridiculous. If you’re still reading this and you have made it this far, chances are you believe in infinite possibilities. My dear friend, there’s a big difference in knowing the path….and walking the path. You must KNOW the reality that you desire already exists! It’s yours already! You must believe!
Engage with the feelings of having it already! Do you know that a kid karate chopping a big piece of wood is NOT focused on the board itself? They are focused on the empty space on the other side of the board! They are focused on a broken piece of board. Not the solid wood itself! They’re focused on the end result!
Back to the vision board. So one of the things I did differently this time was putting only things that made me excited and happy on it. The last board I did I put stuff for everyone else on it. I was not honoring myself. This time I loaded it with my dream life. Namely a new car. I had been having this burr up my ass for a new car. I couldn’t get it out of my head. My little car was ok, but the air had never worked and the muffler was being held on with a hanger. Yes, a fucking hanger. I had no payment and was paying only liability insurance. Cheap ride. So, about a month after making this vision board and my head exploding with thoughts of a new car, it happened. I wrecked. No insurance. Smashed the whole front of it. Un-drive-able. The police had it towed from the scene while I waited for my husband to come get me. I wrecked right after I left work right down the road from it, and as a matter of fact, the woman that I rear ended works with me! I never got out of the car. I just sobbed for like 10 minutes until the police got there and I had to get out. I knew I was screwed. No insurance. my job was 45 minutes from home. Plus I got a ticket for $125. Wow.
I wanted a new car but not like this! We live paycheck to paycheck. My husband was absolutely livid after he found out I was okay. This is my second accident in a little over a year. I was in shock. I couldn’t see the light. I called in the claim after crying all evening long. My husband was mad at me, my car was 30 miles away from me, smashed, and I had no idea how I was going to pay to get it towed to my house. Ends up I didn’t. The tow bill from the scene was $150 plus $15 a day storage fee for everyday it sat there. We called a tow service to see how much it would be to get the car to our home, and they wanted like $200 tow cost plus $4 for every mile. So the tow bills were already outweighing the worth of my smashed up little 1994 Chevy Cavalier. I decided to sign the title over to the owner of the tow service and junkyard. I had to. If we had the extra $500 to pay the tow bill, we could have just put that towards getting another car. Plus, once we got it here, we would still have to pay the cost of labor and all the parts. Who knows if we could even get the parts for a car that old! How was I going to get to work in the meantime??
A miracle happened the next day. I called my insurance agent to see if there was anything else I needed to do for the claim. This is when I found out we had rental coverage on the car. Not all insurance companies do that when you have only liability insurance on a car, but Allstate does! I had a rental car fall out of the sky for 30 days!!! I was blown away. The man on the 800 line did not mention this to me the night before, but I did not care. It bought me some time! Thirty days!! What a blessing! Boom. The Universe came through for me. In the meantime, hubby was very angry for a few days. He couldn’t see the light either. Things got a bit better after I actually got the rental. He was happy for that too. Send up the #grateful for that one!
Here’s the weird thing though. The weekend before the Fourth of July was coming up. I was really wanting lots of hours for that week because I was all anxious and bound up over the wreck and not knowing how I was going to get another car. Something weird happened. I was scheduled off from Saturday until Wednesday that weekend. My family was happy because they were camping and wanted me to be able to come too. I was like how am I gonna need money worse than ever and then the Universe gonna schedule me off ALL WEEKEND LONG until the day after the Fourth??? I said it must be outta my hands.
That weekend actually helped tremendously. My husband and I calmed down and relaxed some with the fam. We cut up, camped out under the stars, got drunk, made s’mores, and had a good old time. It shifted everything. We felt more calm and ready to make decisions. There was still a lot up in the air, but there was not so much blaming and defending going on anymore. The edge was gone. Thank God.
There was one night when he made a remark and I just got up and drove off heading to the park to walk it off. I was mad as a hornet. I hate being in a negative space because it’s a choice and I wanted to go cool off with a nice walk in the park. This was not in the stars. i was driving my usual route to the local park and found the road was closed. UGGHHH. More frustration! So I turned around and started around the corner to take another route to the park when I opened my eyes and saw the buy here pay here lot I didn’t notice before now on the corner. Their sign said $60 a week $500 down. I pulled in. The gentleman that I talked to asked me if I had a job and I said yes. He told me that the local Ford dealership would do guaranteed credit if you had a job and could put $500 down and they had a lot more newer nicer cars over there. He said he would like my business, but he wanted to help people out too. I figure he gets a little pocket $$ for sending people over there too, and that was okay with me. So I forgot about the park and drove over to the dealership. I was looking at a Hyundai Elantra and they actually approved me for it. The payments were too high. I was not liking that.
Long story short, I could not decide whether to sign for that car or not and it sold. It must not have been for me then, I figured. A few days went by and a car came in that my husband and I both agreed on. He looked it over and searched for leaks and mechanical issues. We checked all the lights, brakes, instruments, radio. Everything felt good this time. We signed for it that day. A 2012 Ford Fiesta. We love it. The payments are not too bad although the insurance went up from $68 a month for both cars to $147 a month. Ouch. Oh well. I paid my citation the day before court. We turned the rental car in like two weeks early. We didn’t even need it the entire month!!! The dealership let us make our down payment in two payments of $250. That’s all done now, and the cherry on top is that when they were writing the contract up, there was an error. Now we have two extra weeks before the first payment is due!
When I was sitting in the car sobbing thinking I was going to have to quit my job because I would not have a car, I couldn’t see the light. I could not see the big picture. If someone would have told me in two weeks I would have my ticket paid, $500 down payment and a new car, and the rental turned back in WITH having the ENTIRE Fourth of July weekend off with my family, I would have told them they were crazy. Effin’ cracked out and crazy. There’s how the universe lines things up for you when you make a wish!!! That’s why we CANNOT take the driver’s seat! We must step out of the way!
I will leave you with this piece of advice. Be careful what you wish for. Be prepared to remove the blocks to receive what you desire. There were what felt like blocks to me in my path, but it was only my resistance that I was feeling. The universe had my back the entire time! I told my non-believing husband that he better watch his mouth or I’d start wishing for a new home and who knows what would happen then! It might blow way in a storm (it’s a mobile home), or burn the “F” down. “You better shut your mouth right now.” is exactly what he said to me. I think I’m making a believer out of him yet!