After my doTerra essential oils reading with Elyse Camulli Jarard, I was like a little kid again. As soon as I got in the car, I was dabbing it on!!! Even after I showered, I dabbed a couple more drops on. I wanted all the assistance that I could get! I went to sleep and had the most interesting and odd dreams.
The first one was in black and white. I dreamed about an unending spiraling square shaped staircase. I started down them and I descended, I could hear someone crying. I heard little yelps and moans as I got further and further down. I started to feel fear creeping in. Who was making these sounds? Was something horrible happening to them? Why were they crying? I was so overtaken by fear that I almost stopped. Something inside pushed me to keep going. I finally reached the final flight of stairs and my heart was pounding wildly. As I rounded the last big pillar I saw a man sitting with his knees drawn to his chest in the corner. He was a taller, more slender man I could tell. He was wearing old fashioned clothing. It felt more like I was back in time than in a dream. He was sobbing profusely even though he saw me. His eyes were full of sorrow and his hands were trembling as he pulled his legs closer into his chest than before. He wanted only one thing. He wanted to be loved. I was encountering someone broken. Someone who wanted nothing more than to be loved. Was this a mirror image of me? Was it a dream simply mirroring my subconscious needs back to me in a way that I could understand? I’m still pondering the meaning of this dream and it’s two days later.
The following morning, as I got ready for work, I dabbed on a few drops of the blend of oils then I went to work like usual. The thing was, I was really tired for some reason. My energy level just was not what it normally is. I was vibing pretty low, in all honesty. Sometimes you just have those days and you just have to be okay with that. I got to my first break in a halfway decent mood. A mood that I could call barely getting by. I did my usual. I ate my sandwich and posted a few times on Facebook. Usually my posts are cheerful, uplifting, and optimistic. These posts were different. They were me playing the victim again. Me talking about how “if you fucked me over that you were going to have a starring role in my upcoming book” and the one I’m really proud of “I’m in the perfect position to tell my whole story, real names and all! Having nothing gives me a lot of freedom and power. If someone attempted to sue me, what could they possibly take? I have a 1994 Chevrolet Cavalier in my name! That’s it!!!”
How is anyone that knows the Law of Attraction going to talk about that shit and manifest anything good? I watched this video from LMFAO about the Law of Attraction while I was on the toilet this morning and I thought, “What do I want? More of that crazy shit? WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING??? Stop telling that same old story!”
It was a real epiphany. I mean it. In every sense of the word. I realized that I was still beating the drum of being a victim!! As disturbing as it was to discover this, right on the heels of that came gratitude. Gratitude for having figured it out! I was still tied energetically to my past. I was still resentful of a few people in my life. I hate to admit it, but they were all men who I believed had somehow made me feel unworthy. Back then I was not aware that I could choose to believe differently about myself. I just took their word for it. I did not know my worth and I accepted their mistreatment because I did not know any better at the time!
I immediately set off to write forgiveness letters to the men that I have blamed for holding me back in life. It wasn’t their fault I didn’t know my worth. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t my fault either. People just have to learn as they go along in life. The real lesson manifests once you can not only forgive your so-called enemies of the past, but when you can THANK THEM. If they had not shown you up close and personal who you did NOT want to become, then how would you have ever sorted out who you DO want to become?? They literally molded you like clay into the person who would not settle for less!! I had to sort and sift through just the right combination of people and experiences to shape me into who I am today. The end result is a person that I am proud of every single day. Me. I love myself so much for being so strong and coming out on top. These people assisted me in growing into the person I am today. I love them and thank them for that!
Can I contribute this epiphany to the oils? I say yes, because there is science to support that the oils return your vibrational frequency to its optimal state. Meaning we are supposed to be in a peaceful state. We’re supposed to be in perfect health. We’re supposed to be at ease in in that optimal state. Everything else that prevents us from being in that blissful state will have no other choice than to fall away. This really resonates and speaks to me, because I had that knee jerk reaction. I began to act as if I was in victim mode all over again! The truth is, it’s hard to see it when you are the one doing it. It’s difficult to be objective enough to see what state our emotions are really in. This state of being is something that has been blocking me from moving forward. I am simply so grateful that I wrote those letters! I feel lighter already. I feel more free than before. I won’t discredit the power of being open to growth when I was heading over to Elyse’s house. I was ready to make something shift. I was ready to move energy.
I hope this helps you move into a new perspective about forgiveness and gratitude. If you don’t feel like you can forgive, let alone, thank the people of your past, at least give it some gentle thought. Ponder how it would feel to cut that energetic tie. What if you created a new space and then like an empty cup, the Universe could fill it up with something new and amazing? Like if you let go of something old with both of your hands, you free up them to receive something new?
Food for thought, my lovely friends!!!