A beautiful journey…

17310263_10154265362811712_528819119351376013_o I wasn’t sure about the tea gathering last night, but I promised myself that I would be open to new things. My old self that’s in the process of dying was still trying to convince me not to continue to banish her from existence. I love the prior versions of myself. She has served me well, but her services are no longer needed. I’m shedding the old self and a shiny new me is coming out!

I arrived at the Clear Conscious Movement Center and immediately started to feel the busy day start to fall away. I was greeted and hugged right away by Max and Annie. Max would be performing the ancient tea ceremony for us and Annie told me she was the owner of the space. Annie’s space was beautiful. The air was warm and welcoming with incense. The walls were dancing with golden light from all the candles sitting on the floor. You immediately felt peaceful. At home.

My friends started to arrive and we got settled in for the ceremony. We were sitting cross-legged on the floor in a close knit small circle. Max explained the history of the tea ceremony and where the tea we would be drinking came from. I already started to feel the connection with the tea before we even started. I felt privileged and honored to be sharing such a rare tea, not to mention it being served in such a time honored manner. It was a gift to be a part of and I felt myself melting into the bliss of every moment of it. As Max served the tea to us, I felt the great amount of respect and love he has for the both the tradition and the teas itself. He respected the tea for its message for us and its healing qualities and now he was sharing that with us. With me.

As he prepared and poured the first serving of tea for us, I focused on remaining open. Letting whatever would come to me intuitively or emotionally just come. When I tasted the tea for the first time it was warm, inviting, earthy. Almost woodsy. Really, unlike any other tea I have ever tasted. It had a richness, a cozy, warm, comforting flavor. I tried to inhale the tea through my sense of smell, but I seemed to smell it better as I was letting it sit on my tongue momentarily. I felt the history. I imagined the tea tree surrounded but the mighty mountains that Max had described to us. I felt the love and the gratitude of the people that respected the teas trees for centuries. It was blissful.

As the first serving warmed my body and lit up all of my senses, I started to fall into sort of an altered state with my eyes open. The room felt more alive. The air around us felt more alive, the colors of all the beautiful blanket started to seem brighter. I was grounded in the moment of the now. Everything felt more brilliant and wonder-filled. Then came my first message. I was told that everything with the book event was going to be fine. I would be fully prepared for that evening by the time it got here. I got a flash feeling that the experiences between now and then would have me completely comfortable with going onstage. I would know exactly what to say when the night arrived. To let it all go.

The third round of tea brought another message I surely did not expect. Especially during an ancient tea ceremony. It came in though, none the less. It was about money. I was told that I had some kind of block about prosperity and that I was told very firmly that it was time to stop struggling. That it was time to open myself to the flow of abundance. It was more like a message to stop plugging the hole. If I would just unplug the hole, money would flow right in, it’s that simple.

Unfortunately, I had a physical struggle floating into my experience that brought me out of the receiving mode for anymore messages from Spirit. My legs were on fire. I hadn’t sat on the floor in years and I suppose my weight was not helping anything. During the next say, two servings of the most delicious, warming, wonderful, earthy tea I have ever experienced, I found myself in danger of breaking a sacred and silent circle. I was not about to let that happen. This was a group experience and we were well into the ritual by now. Everyone else was blissed out. I wasn’t giving in. I was NOT moving from this circle! I started to recall when I started at Kohl’s and I was writing affirmations on my hand to help me get through the physical demands of the day. I pictured my hand with the words “I AM STRONG” written on them. I repeated over and over in my mind until I was screaming it in my mind. I felt mentally strong, but the pain was still winning. A firey, mean, digging pain from my thighs to the tips of my toes. I was defiantly feeling alive. The tea opens your blood vessels and I was feeling the burn for sure! I could only think of one thing that I could do. Surrender. I couldn’t beat it, so I had to lean into it. I relaxed into the fire. I felt my body release and I felt every fiber and muscle burning and aching. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was still grateful. Grateful for the lesson. Know when to surrender. Being strong can only get you so far, then you must surrender. It’s the only choice you have.

As we took each others hands to close the circle, I started to sense an unfamiliar vibration in the air and in my heart. I felt connection. I felt a bond. But even more than that, Spirit was there. The unconditional love of the Universe. I was surrounded in it, and swimming in it. Tears flowed from my eyes freely because Spirit showed me a love that I didn’t feel worthy of, but apparently, I deserve it. It was there for me, all of this time. All I had to do was have an open mind and an open heart and reach for it. To intentionally want to connect to it. I did not even know such a love existed. A love that runs deeper and richer than you’ve ever felt before. It welcomed me. Me. Little old me.

Friends, you are loved so much more than you ever imagined. It can’t ever be explained. You must experience it yourself. I invite you to taste something so beautiful and so rich that you’ll never ever be the same again. Once you experience this love, your life is shifted forever.

Love yourself!!!



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