A lot of times when I write, I write to help and inform people. To help other empaths and people interested in learning more about how our reality really works.
Well, today i could not figure out what to write about because I let my thoughts lead me believe I couldn’t come up with a subject. A big part of this process is learning patience and relaxing through the process. Sometimes I get bored waiting for the next inspiration to strike. Being bored makes me restless. Then that sometimes barrels head on into irritability.
Then I’m really in a funk creatively. Seems like from that space energetically speaking, I shouldn’t be able to come up with a topic. But here I am writing. How is that? Here’s how today has went down, so you can get on the save wavelength as me.
I got up all spunky monkey. I did not set my mood, spark my energy, or meditate at all. I got up willy nilly and wondered what to fix to eat. I went in the kitchen, made myself some eggs and toast and brought it back to the computer. I was ready to write. Or so I thought.
I proceeded to listen to music to raise my energy level. I listen to Nikki Minaj and Rihanna because they share through their videos their secrets to becoming an empowered woman. They just get my mind into a great positive space. Especially when I watch Pour it Up. That reminds me as a woman, that I can make it rain in this bitch. Not as a stripper, but I do need to go outside my comfort zone.
As soon as I start getting in the mood to write, husband shows up at home for lunch. The part of me that feels obligated to care for him every time I see him kicks in. Now i’m just plain old resentful. I’m picking a fight with him and everything. I saw myself doing it. I knew I was doing it.
As he was walking out the door, also slightly irritated by this point, I said something to him that made total sense to me. It helped me re-engage with the person I have grown into. I said to him,”you can’t handle the happy, over the top, giggly Missy, but you can’t handle the grumpy one either.” That must have broke the spell my bad thoughts had flowed into because I knew right then, I was projecting blame onto him. Plain as day.
So I thought I would come share my struggle with what my thoughts created for me today. That alone can help people. Being real. Showing the bad as well as the good. I can also use what I perceive to be negative to connect with people. This retraining your thoughts is tedious at times. I get frustrated and let it go sometimes, but that’s just enough wiggle room for the Universe to pop in and take care of the how. That space, when I let go of the reins, is where the magic happens.
Keep livin’ the dream!
Love yourself! This process takes time!!!
You have all the time in the World!